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    她花了20年的时间来复仇和重生:比起死亡,我愿意被强奸1000次

    她花了20年的时间来复仇和重生:比起死亡,我愿意被强奸1000次


    来源:家长学院  作者:佚名

    17岁的你,在做什么?

    今天我们要说的这个女孩,她的17岁,在一遍又一遍地复述着自己被性侵的过程。

    1979年,她刚满17岁,是纽约雪城大学主修艺术的新生,刚迈入大学的她对生活充满了期待。

    可是一场改变她命运的人祸却悄然而至。

    那天她下完课,跟往常一样回寝室的时候经过一个废弃的地下通道路口 ,可跟往常不一样的是,忽然从这个路口里窜出了一个男人,将她拖进了地下通道。

    没有人听到她的求救声。

    “你再喊我就杀了你。”那个男人这样呵斥她。就在这片到处都是枯败的树叶和啤酒瓶的过道上,还曾有个女孩被强奸和肢解。

    为了活下来,她对施暴者说,“我原谅你”,她甚至主动去配合施暴者。

    失去的一切是找不回来了, 可是只有活下来,才能让眼前这残暴的男人付出应有的代价。

    她说,“那些说她们宁肯抗争到死,也不愿意被强奸的人都是傻瓜。比起死亡,我宁愿被强奸1000次。

    “为了把自己从真实的死亡中拯救出来,我让自己的灵魂一部分一部分地死去。

    当她遍体鳞伤的拖着破碎的心去报案后,警察却对她说,比起那个死去的女孩,你很幸运。

    她不明白, 好像她的贞洁无足轻重,在录口供的时候警察并不想听她的感受,而是多次打断她的哭泣——“这些都不重要,说事实。”

    她终于懂了,警察们要的不过是一项立案指控。

    朋友可怜她,亲人疼惜她,却不知道怎么安慰,只能小心翼翼从此闭口不提,希望这事能过去。

    过去的如果就过去了,以后也只会越来越糟。

    这件事发生后,艾丽斯和母亲一起回到了原来的家乡,宾夕法尼亚。

    她想对所有人证明,“我还是个好女孩,我只是被糟蹋了。然而这件事即使放到现在,仍然有很多人会在背后指指点点,当时更不例外。

    她不甘心,明明自己是受害者,却要承担着犯罪者的骂名,她发誓决不让那个毁了她生活的施暴者逍遥法外,于是她又强忍着恐惧,咬牙回到学校。

    “他已经从我身上夺走了太多东西,我不会再让他多多走一分一毫!”

    她再次回到了那充满痛苦回忆的案发现场,每天再一遍遍的走着那段路。终于,同年10月,她遇到了那个施暴者。

    她马上报了警,那个施暴者被判了25年的最高监禁刑。

    要知道那是一个对认定强奸案非常困难的年代,你无法想象一个17岁的少女在庭审现场是如何条理清晰的重绘案发细节,而在面对那个噩梦般的男人的凶狠目光时,她毫不退缩。

    要有多坚强,才敢念念不忘。

    这个故事的主人翁,就是艾丽斯·西伯德一个把失去活成了获得的女人。

    1999年, 艾丽斯在时隔大学遭受强暴经历的20年后,将《他们说,我是幸运的》作为自传出版,被媒体誉为“最为潜力的作家”。

    2002年,《可爱的骨头》的出版,此书在《纽约时报》排行榜上高居榜首近三十周。

    以她自身为原型的《可爱的骨头》全球销量高达500万册,被执导指环王的彼得杰克逊拍成了电影。

    在加利福利亚,艾丽斯终于遇到了自己生命中的另一半,作家格伦。

    这个男人不介意她的过去,反而格外心疼曾经年幼无辜的她。格伦并不太会说话,但他却用实际行动默默在生活上用爱与温柔照顾着她,更是在写作上指导她,鼓励她尝试写作。艾丽斯曾经结冰的心就这样慢慢被他融化。

    实际上,我们得到的爱与痛均是守恒,有过多难堪就会有多绚烂。

    所以我们最终看到的是,艾丽斯书里没有声泪俱下的控诉,她没有埋怨任何人,而是平静地讲着一个故事,讲一个治愈的过程,讲着受害人与局外人之间,有着无法跨越的巨大鸿沟。

    艾丽斯说,"为什么那些被伤害的女性只能遮遮掩掩,羞耻地掩盖自己的过去呢?这根本就不是她们的错。"

    "被伤害之后,努力活下来,这才是真正的英雄主义。如果你不去谈论它、直面它,

    别人只会一直指指点点,那你就真的完了。"

    然而,我们的身边,仍然暗藏着很多危险。

    好的是,越来越的女孩和女性社会组织在勇敢发声, 为同样遭受痛苦的女孩们带来希望与安慰。

    就像同样被性侵过的Lady gaga曾发布过一首MV,《Till It Happens to You(直到它发生在你身上)》,这首歌的主题就是为了同样被遭受过性侵的女孩呐喊。

    而作为从未遭受不幸的我们,生活对于我们意义更多的是要留有一颗怜悯心,在我们尚且安全且幸运的时候,学会去理解他人的苦难并试着去帮助她们重拾信任感与勇气。

    最后,引用艾丽斯的话,愿所有的女孩都能拥有漫长、幸福的生活。

    — end —


    ·上一篇文章:仁爱之心
    ·下一篇文章:73岁一无所有85岁亿万富翁 褚时健去世:享年91岁!


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    http://www.pibaok.com/news/lizhi/181211145520DD15CB33240BADI93992.htm




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