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    思辨教育之如何从小培养孩子的独立性?

    思辨教育之如何从小培养孩子的独立性?


    来源:学习力教育中心  作者:余建祥

      孩子的独立性越早培养效果越好,而独立性越强的孩子,越有自己的思想和思辨能力。现实中多数孩子都被父母“成功”培养成对父母、老师极度依赖的孩子。

      曾听人说起这样一个故事。一位年轻的妈妈带着五六岁的女儿逛商场,事先母女俩商量好了购物内容和清单,并且约定在商场不能买计划外的东西。进到商场以后,妈妈几乎是无所事事,一切全交由女儿作主,比如清单上注明要买牛奶,买什么牌子的、酸奶还是甜牛奶等,一概由女儿定。所以女儿进到商场忙得不亦乐乎,一会拎着挑回来地牛奶扔进妈妈推着的购物车,一会问下妈妈清单上的购物名称(孩子太小,很多字还不认识)。整个过程妈妈几乎都在做甩手掌柜。

      好不容易把购物清单上的内容都购买齐了,在去付款的时候,小女孩被一款设计很漂亮的口香糖所吸引,于是央求妈妈,能不能买一个。妈妈告诉女儿说,这不在今天的购买清单之列。不过,你认识包装上的品牌名字吗?女儿摇了摇头,于是妈妈念了一遍,告诉女儿,如果下次还记得这几个字怎么念,就给她买。小女孩高高兴兴地边记名字,边走向付款台。

      这是一个很经典的培养孩子独立能力的案例。

      首先,事先和孩子商量购物清单,让孩子参与决策,增强了孩子的责任心和参与感,这就为后面跟孩子逛商场,孩子自律(不买计划外的物品)打下基础。而多数孩子进商场根本没有自律能力,基本上喜欢什么就闹着让父母买。

      其次,家长和孩子商定购买的清单后,具体的执行交由孩子,可大幅提升孩子的自主意识和责任感。比如要买牛奶,具体是酸奶还是甜牛奶,选蒙牛还是伊利,这就是小节,完全可以交由孩子去判断决策,家长在边上提点参考意见足矣。而培养孩子的决策能力正是国外精英教育的最重要核心内容之一。

      第三,用欲望驱动孩子学习成长。孩子有欲望很正常,比如案例中孩子喜欢上了一款设计漂亮的口香糖,这时候不是简单地满足孩子的欲望,而是引导孩子学习(案例中是让孩子认识并记住品牌名称的汉字),在这个基础上满足孩子的欲望。这一方面让孩子学习动力充足,还能让孩子了解任何要求和欲望的满足应该用自己的努力去获取,而不是用跟家长要求或哭闹这种不劳而获的方式来获取。

      用这种方式培养出来的有独立思辨能力的孩子,很快会在学校、同学中脱颖而出。比如这样的孩子在学校班级上,是每位老师最喜爱的班干部人选。多数孩子担任班干部后只是机械地执行班主任的命令,而这类孩子则会用自己的智慧主动帮助班主任把班级管理得更好,让班主任很省心。

      这种孩子走上社会以后,更是会表现突出,成为领导的得力助手,从而很快获得升迁。

      从这个案例中也可以看出,教育是一种智慧,真正的教育都是润物细无声的,是轻松快乐的,是和谐的,而不是剑拔弩张式的压制教育。(学习力教育中心 余建祥)

     

      作者简介:余建祥,著名学习力教育专家,家庭教育顶层设计专家。


    ·上一篇文章:睡前故事有助孩子成长
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